Life in the eyes of a… well me

That’s the quesiton i decided to try to answer today, what is love? I realized I can’t because only those who have experienced it know it risks a lot of pain ( if it’s a romantic love), and what it feels like before that pain if it does come.

But We can break love into two different categories, Family( or friendship) love, and Romantic love.

First let’s deal with the easier one, the love of family and friends, as human beings we have a paternal or maternal instinct for our children so we take care of them and we do love them, or care for them deeply. siblings grow to care for each other because they’re stuck with one another, and that usually means some binding moment, very easily.

The Love between friends comes from a want not to be alone, or to be an outcast. Humanity is a social species, so we stick to those who are kind to us, though they may not share our views, they can certainly influence them. We stick to those friends unless the move of family or an event that breaks the bond forces us apart.

Romantic love can evolve from the love between friends, ( and sometimes vice-versa), or it can just be there. I comes from the same want to not be alone, along with either the biological need to reproduce, or just plain romantic feelings. You stick to these people even closer than your friends, sometimes romantic love can break the bond of the love of a friend.

What’s the difference between those two? THAT is a question alot of people might like to answer, it’s a feeling you have to decide for yourself. And one I’m stuggling with, there are a total about three or four people i could see spending the rest of my life with, but i think a few of them are only because we’re such good friends that we’ll spend eternity together as friends and not really as husband and wife or anything.

I will admit, coming to this realization makes one seem lonely, although  it clears up certain things about what I want, I want to be done with teenage years and meddling around with feelings, all that does is hurt me. I want to move on and get a career, and have a family, because it’s something new, and i hate the position I am in right now.

Speaking of which I was talking to a friend about kids, and we both love kids, and the weird part is, that we both, if we could, would have kids now if we had the time and cashflow (Though not neccisarily with each other.) For now, the work in progress is Debate, i hope they find a new coach, i don’t want it to die out like this.

I also know what I want in a girl. I want her to be honest with me, be faithful, and tell me her feelings. I want to be able to sit anywhere and talk and not have her have the feelings like the situation is akward or like she has to hide anything from her. I want her to be independent enough she doesn’t have to sit at home (if we get married) if she doesn’t want to, or in the case of school, i don’t want her to have to feel like I’m going to leave her if someone she thinks is prettier walks by or takes interest in me.
     If i have a problem or anything, i would want her to be able to smile about my problem and tell me that it’s okay, as long as we have each other. I would want her to tell me to think about the problem and solve it myself, but she would help. I want her to always be able to come to me with anything, I want her to be able to talk.

But one thing I would NEVER EVER want, I wouldn’t want her to feel she has to be attached. If she loved me, she would want to be with me. End of Story

That’s what I want in a girl.  I don’t know how I’ll find her, but I know I will.

Think Your This person? DO WE HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!! lol, kidding, but if you think you see someone in my life who does these things, point her out to me, I don’t want her to get away without me trying to keep her.

In short, Love is Love, even if it’s not a romantic love, sometimes the love of many as a friend is enough, it’s enough now, as long as I know someone cares about me.

If you care, then leave a comment or something, or just tell me on email or IM if you care.

If you don’t care about me, but care about this post, then I’m sorry you care about me… deal with it.

If you don’t care about either, Why are you reading this?! Don’t you have some crappy thing to go do? No? Then I pity you.

But more about today: played softball and gained a friend in PE. Debate, hung around supergirl prolly too much, next time I will be better at letting her be (because she wants it) though, because I can play music at the computer so I’ll hang there. Speaking of Which Aubrey can hang there and talk to me (wink wink nudge nudge), a bonus is she also gets to pick the music. Engineering, we’re actually getting the project done. But if I was working AUTO CAD, we’d have been done weeks ago ( Yes I am THAT good). Lunch; listened to music and ate food, and drank some of that vitamin water, the yellow energy one. I WILL NEVER DRINK IT AGAIN!!! Adv Debate, We tried the music thing, and some idiots (*cough* Hailey and Sean *cough*) couldn’t keep quiet. Maybe it’s because Sean wasn’t doing anything… but it’s just a guess.

Best Part of Today: Lunch, I got to be me…. IN SCHOOL ZOMG!!!! I did wonder where i was for a second after putting on music and relaxing.

Worst Part of Today: It was all cloudy and stuff the way i usually like it, and am most happy in. But then it cleared up… all well, you win some you lose some.

Dream On Everyone,

Dom

“Living laugh learning and loving, all of them are things we must learn, and sometimes we hate each one of them in turn. But don’t weep, for tomorrow is another day, and a friend, a lover, or a compainion is waiting on the horizon.”-Dominic Bernamonti, add libbed from today.